Dancing Mad About Video Games: Assassin's Creed 2

I’m probably treading already covered ground here as it is a fairly recent game and pretty much every major reviewer has expressed their thoughts on this game, but better late than never I suppose (that and this is a spur of the moment review to pretty much put something on the site). Regardless, I was planning to do a video game review anyway, it just turned out to be this one.

A little back story first, when I first bought my Xbox 360 I was thinking of all the games I should get with it, pretty much the main reason I got it was for Lost Odyssey, a game I still have yet to complete because I keep putting it off. But the game that I got free with my 360 was Assassin’s Creed, I initially thought “well, no use in complaining about a free game,” as at the time I was hearing some more negative than positive reviews of the game. But I took my chances and ended up really liking the game. Sure it was a little repetitive in combat but the story itself was very good, so much so that it warranted interest in the subject of this review. Is it really such a killer game? Well, I’m about to go Dancing Mad over Assassin’s Creed 2.



The story begins as a sort of a continuation from the first game, with the hero Desmond Miles expositing over his kidnapping by the Templar-funded (yes, those Templars) corporation Abstergo whose main motive was to use Desmond to find the magical macguffins known as the “Pieces of Eden” (by way of the machine the Animus to probe through the genetic memories of his Assassin ancestors) and essentially use them to for their own sinister purposes. Desmond tells us of events that happened post-Assassin’s Creed 1, most importantly the fact that Dr. Warren Vidic is an “bastard” and had removed Desmond’s one and only ally Lucy Stillman from Abstergo… till she promptly returns, covered in to free him from Abstergo and take him to the hideout for Assassins. Not before she tells Desmond Miles to get into the Animus so we can introduce the main character of the game Ezio Auditore da Firenze, before both Lucy and Desmond escape Abstergo to the Assassin’s Hideout. When they get there we meet the rest of the team who I affectionately call team AssRod (Ass for Assassin’s and Rod…because it sounds penile). We meet Rebecca Crane the tech expert and programmer for the Animus 2.0 as well as Shaun Hastings, a rather douchey guy who is absolutely great to fuck with; he’s practically the clerical guy he helps decode shit in the game.
Anyway, after the minor introductions are out of the way the game you want to play begins, that is to say playing as Ezio and not Desmond (which is kind of the point, and is explained in the story).




You begin as a young Ezio in the city of Florence, finding out that he is a Florentine noble and is pretty much a smooth player with the ladies (the guy could literally get more tail than Caligula). Yeah, you’re going to like Ezio; anyway Ezio and his brother Federico are having a spat with their rival family the Pazzi (yeah, those Pazzi). After they effectively kick their asses, see a doctor and race on top of a church, we are treated to a very nice title screen signifying the start of the game. After a few more missions with your family, including beating up some guy named Douche and grabbing paintings from Leonardo da Vinci (yes, that Da Vinci). Ezio’s brothers and father are taken to jail and set to be hanged and Ezio naturally has to stop it. Then by this point you learn Ezio is the titular Assassin (Ezio himself doesn’t find out till he gets to Monteriggioni).

And there’s your backstory for the game. Now to talk about the pros and the cons of the gameplay. Well, it’s pretty damn awesome. I mean, fight wise nothing has really changed, except you have a few more weapons to work with and even then in fights your only going to be using 2 or 3 weapons at the most. It’s really basic to be quite honest, you generally wait for counters most of the time because every successful counter kill, you’re treated to a gory cinematic; which never gets old. The combat really falls to that. Not much of an improvement over the first game, but there’s more to work with here. For starters, the economic system is a wonderful in a game like this, not only does it allow you to buy weapons and armour, but for medicine, which is quite helpful in battle and even funds to contribute to making your stronghold a more profitable place. Which in turn feeds your wallet so you can buy more shit. Frankly it’s batshit economics for people who could really give two shits about economics; you know people like myself. But hey, if I could buy a Botticelli (yes, that Botticelli) painting for 500 dollars and use it to add value to my home, it would make real life a hell of a lot easier to be sure. But with all this stuff, the difficulty is lacking, the hardest thing in the game is arguably the puzzle tests and those are solved with some basic logic. Some people would argue collecting 100 feathers but that’s a side quest and is frankly a lot better than collecting 100+ flags in the original Assassin’s Creed. It’s still annoying, but again, you don’t have to collect them unless you want the cape that makes you Notorious wherever you go and a War Hammer or if you‘re Achievement whoring. But overall, the gameplay is excellent if a tad repetitive, there’s so much you can do it’s hard to get tired of the simplistic gameplay and it is fun to stealth Assassinate guards from pretty much any position, steal their weapons and skull fuck them before progressing the story.



Speaking of the story, I have a few things to say about it. It’s really good, it’s complex, everything, even the side-quests are tied together in the story. Excluding races, beat ‘em up events and assassination contracts everything is tied together in the story. The writer’s left no room for error with the story. Collecting feathers has something to do with the story, rebuilding Monteriggioni has something to do with the story, finding Codex pages has something to do with the story, etc. This isn’t even touching on the main narrative which is incredibly presented. I briefly gave the back story, but my synopsis of that is not quite as accurate as in game (frankly, I do my best to avoid spoilers whenever possible). But as you follow Ezio, you get a really good idea of his conflict and his story (despite Desmond saying “this is my story,” it’s really the narrative of Ezio where this story shines). This story is really character driven. There’s a lot of colourful characters that you will get to interact with, most of which you get to kill. But, you also have the themes ranging from religion, to art, to conspiracy, politics, history, philosophy, it goes on with the themes. Depending on your own interpretations, this can be one of the most venomous snipes at religion or a rather respectful view of religion (or as I see it, a combination of both secular and theistic views put into the game, the disclaimer isn’t lying I guess). The game just builds and builds and adds more neat twists, more fresh writing as it continues and it all cultivates in one of the greatest “HOLY SHIT!” endings I’ve seen in a video game, and it’s not over until after the credits stop rolling, because during the credits, you get to put all of Ezio’s skills to use as Desmond and it’s refreshing.



Characters, characters, characters… where to begin? Well, let’s start with team AssRod. Honestly, there’s not a whole lot to them, even with Desmond and Lucy we do not get a whole lot out of them aside from a few notes about their back stories their personality traits and a whole romantic link between the two is developing a bit more. Which is not surprising as Desmond is trying to go after a chick modeled after (and voiced by) Kristen Bell and only a eunuch would not want to fuck Kristen Bell. Rebecca we don’t spend a whole lot of time getting to know and Shaun is the same way though his backstory is brought up. If it sounds like I am picking on Desmond, I’m not trying too, it’s just we know this guy for a whole game and he really does nothing aside from being the analog to the Assassin’s who you primarily play as., he seems like the genuine everyman who gets to experience the lives and memories of people far cooler than him, on second thought, that is pretty awesome when you get right down to it. But then again, everyone is overshadowed by the awesome that is Ezio Auditore da Firenze. I swear, this guy is really cool, and I am not joking when I do say the guy does get as much tail as Caligula… only without the rape. His charm and wit is all there and you get a personality out of him, which is what I like about him and why I prefer him over Altair; Ezio doesn’t come across as an emotionless dick here. You really emphasize with Ezio, something I didn’t get with Altair. The support characters are all fun to interact with, whether they be your uncle Mario or Lorenzo de’ Medici (yes, that Lorenzo de’ Medici), or the various people you have to kill like Rodrigo Borgia (yes that… You know what, fuck it).



There’s one last thing to note, and it’s rather minor but it’s the soundtrack by Jesper Kyd. Honestly, I really didn’t care for the soundtrack of the first Assassin’s Creed, it was a game that seemed very appropriate for a customized soundtrack. But, here.. It’s really good, there’s a very atmospheric score, it never gets old and frankly you can listen to many of the track’s over and over again. Such as “Ezio’s Family.” It’s a spectacular song and is the highlight of the score in my humble opinion to an already superb soundtrack. It presents the perfect atmosphere to the fantastic story.



I guess there’s nothing left to say about the game, it has a great score, some interesting characters and a fun and exciting story. It’s a rather short game mind you and the gameplay can be lacking and the AI can get stupid it’s still really fun to play as Ezio and start killing many, many people.